*Please consult with your health care clinician before starting dilator therapy
Step 1: If possible, start with a warm bath (to relax you and your pelvic floor muscles), and make sure you have at least fifteen minutes of privacy. Putting a dilator in your vagina if your teenage son is about to burst into your room is not going to work.
Step 2: Lie in bed on your back with your knees bent and slightly apart. This is not yoga class. Be comfortable! Use pillows to support your head and back.
Step 3: Apply a generous amount of lubrication to the opening of your vagina and to the tip of the smallest dilator. If the dilator is silicone, be sure to use a water-based lubricant.
Dr. Streicher’s Guide to Vaginal Lubricants
Step 4: Bear down slightly and gently slide the dilator in as far as it will go.
Step 5: If there is no pain or resistance, continue slowly removing each dilator and replacing it with the next-largest size. At some point, you will start to feel resistance, discomfort, or burning. Stop. Don’t push it. This is not the gym, and you don’t need to use the heaviest weight. You will get there eventually.
Step 6: Leave the largest dilator that does not cause pain in place for at least five minutes. Concentrate on letting your vaginal tissues relax around it. Remember to relax your buttocks and thighs. Don’t forget to breathe. A little Mozart is not a bad idea.
Step 7: Repeat steps 1 through 6 on a daily basis, if possible. It’s OK if you miss a day. The dilator to be used to initiate each therapy session is the largest that does not cause pain on insertion.
Step 8: When the largest dilator you have been using slides in without resistance or discomfort, it is time to move up to the next size. This can take days or weeks.
Step 9: When you are ready to advance to the next size, use the smaller dilator to initiate your session for at least a few days before inserting the next size.
Wash your dilators with antibacterial soap and water, and dry them well before you put them away.
Store them in a box labeled “2018 tax returns” so your teenage daughter will not find them when she is raiding your drawers to borrow some tights.
When first using a dilator, light spotting is not unusual, but you should never experience severe pain or heavy bleeding. If you do, or if you are unable to comfortably insert a dilator, see your doctor or physical therapist before proceeding.
Sometimes it is necessary to coat the dilator with local anesthetic jelly (you will need a prescription for this). In other cases, a muscle relaxant is useful. (Valium™ for your vagina!)
Once you can comfortably put something in your vagina that is slightly larger than your partner’s penis, you are ready for the real thing.
*I have no financial relationship with Soul Source Dilators, but I highly recommend them.